Slap my ass and call me Daisy…..


During my “quiet time” at the pool this afternoon I got to thinking. Hmmmmm. They say that everyone should have a spiritual animal guide, I wonder what animal I would  get  for a guide today? …Immediately I had a vision of a cow  ( a very cute cow) chewing it’s cud.

CUD : “Food regurgitated from the first stomach to the mouth of a ruminant and chewed again”. It’s a digestion thing.

Seems I have been regurgitating some emotional hay and having to chew it up all over again this week to get it down my gullet and out the other end. So, after swimming 5 laps (yes 5 and they aren’t baby laps either – the pool is 75 ft long…I counted the tiles.) ANYWAY – I  heaved up on the lounger to multi-task and soak up some late afternoon sun and meditate.

I named every emotion that plagued me this week. Guilt, blame, shame etc and I mentally attached 10 lbs per word and laid them on a spiritual alter of sorts. When I had purged my list I envisioned setting the alter a flame and sending all that negative energy and the weight  that burdened me from it up in smoke. I struck the match, I lit the flame and THAT ladies and gentleman is how you start a grease fire!  Wow!!!!! Damn good thing there’s not a burn ban in the spiritual world cause that mother went UP! Oooooohhhh. The curse of  the creative mind. Meditation time was over and I swam another 5 laps and snorted water up my nose laughing at myself and nearly drowned.

Meditation isn’t for everyone. 20 yrs ago we included my brother, Vern, in a guided meditation class I was hosting. The teacher that night asked us all to go within. Follow the journey and the sound of his voice. Walk in a cave and then out into a glen. When you stand in the glen you were to call forth your animal guide from the tree line and he would emerge…you could ask him a question…blah blah.. he would take you to the SON/SUN for a gift etc….Afterwards we went round the group and asked about each others experience. When it came Vern’s turn to “Share” the teacher asked him.

Well Vern, Did you find the glen?

“Yes sir”  -he said with his hands folded lightly on his lap.

Goooood, Vern, did you ask for a spiritual guide to emerge from the tree line?

“Ugh huh, sure did”, he had a grin on his face like he had really learned something important which surprised me.

And did you ask him to take you to the SON/SUN?

Vern quickly blurted out – from a very spiritual place all his own – “Hell no! It was a 12 point buck. I shot that mother. Course, I knew you hippie folks was medi-tating so I shot him with my bow and arrow. Right through the heart. That wiley rascal never knew what hit him!

Word to the wise…..when trying to  enlighten a redneck…… use a high beam spotlight. And when working thru the issues that you are sure you already processed and digested  – don’t be surprised if you don’t have to go back and spend some time chewing your cud to get it all to go down for good.

I love each and every one of you.


4 comments on “Slap my ass and call me Daisy…..”

  1. Ahhhh Huli, that was the best laugh I’ve had all week! Thanks girl! I love love love you! ….BTW: I’d forgotten about our little spiritual group meetings we used to have & now I remember that you brought that particular one to a session & shared it with us, minus Vern of course.


  2. GREAT post JW!! You are such a good descriptive writer…I always can envision your words and create great pics from them….I happended to barf up some old emotional curd 2 days ago…seems those old wounds heal, but can be reopened once again. Now, when they are reopened, the oopening doesnt stay open that long..time to heal is shorter and shorter!! love u…


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