By 
There are two kinds of people in the world:
There are those that are willing to step out in faith and make things happen. They are the people willing to seize the day and grab hold of the enormous energy the Universe sends their way. They succeed because they have a broader vision of their worth and value to the world. They achieve more and contribute more because they accept that they can be more.
And then, there are those that don’t understand the power of faith and participation. They don’t appreciate their own value and the power of who they are and from where they came. They hedge their bets that if they just sit tight something will come their way. If it doesn’t, then they must not have deserved it. They let circumstance guide their lives. They define who they are by what others give them. Their perceived accomplishments are simply a collection of handouts they rarely can hold onto.
I have found that the key to unlocking the FAITH and courage to step out on groundless ground is accepting that you deserve to have the ground reach up to support you on your journey.
I used to live a different life. I thought that if I focused all my energy on caring for someone and taking care of their needs that I would have value. Mistakenly, I waited for them to define my worth. To pat my head and say I mattered. I based my value and my place in the world on how much I could do for them and how much it would be appreciated. I let someone else determine my worth. I always felt at the end of the day like I was the orphan in Oliver always holding up my cup and saying “More please” because I was left hungry for more love and acceptance.
I made the conscious decision last year to define my own value and focus all the energy I had been giving away to others on myself. I stepped out and grabbed hold of an incredible life energy, a life line that raised me above the drama and conflict that I had been wrapped in. And as things began to open up for me and the possibilities grew I realized that I began to matter more to myself. I began to eat better, live cleaner and take care of myself like I had never done before. I found myself sitting on the corner of life just waiting for me to ask myself to come out and play. And when I did,wow, the world is a frick’in awesome playground. I think the monkey bars are my favorite.
It’s amazing to realize that by simply shifting the focus off someone or something outside myself and redirecting it back to the child within me that so many rewards would come my way. The more I work on “ME” and the more I share that work with others the more people validate my life and say “I MATTER” by the hundreds. It feeds me. I am no longer the hungry orphan. I can be anything I choose to be, an artist, a writer, a singer, a friend or a lover. I have more to give because I make sure I am taken care of first. I eat so that I have the energy to feed others. I work out so that I am strong enough to lend a helping hand. I take care of myself so that I can actually be there for others.
If you want to matter more to those around you. Matter more to yourself.
I love each and every one of you
Juliana
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Diary of a MAD * FAT * WOMAN..... 
Great Post! You are dead on and I love the Oliver symbolism. I used to think that people who valued themselves first were selfish. I now realize that the person who puts themselves last, sacrificing constantly for others will end up as a shell of a person with no friends at the end of the day. Funny how it works that way.
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A Hard lesson to learn indeed. I was left a shell of a person because I gave till I bled and had no life energy left for myself at the end of the day. It is those relationships you have to learn to walk away from. Declare your value and it will be present for others to appreciate . Beg for the recognition like a beggar on the blvd, rattling a cup at passers by on the street and your cup will most often be empty.
We have been conditioned to believe that if we suffer we will be rewarded. That was never God’s intent.
Claim your divinity and nurture yourself. It’s the greatest gift you can give the world.
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Juliana, You are an incredible writer with the perfect balance of wit, spirit and passion! A joy to read and resonate with your words, looking forward to scrolling through each of them!
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Thank you so much. I began writing about nine months ago as a cheap form of therapy. I never dreamed so many people would be interested in what I had to say. The best therapy has been the responses and the similar life lessons people let me know they have had. Just when you think you’re all alone in the world, the world let’s you know you were part of a global family all along! Thanks for reading!
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Wonderful post. I am elated that you have finally made you matter. You were always such a good teacher in my life and I recall you telling me one time…..”Stop fixing others and focus on YOU”. Now you finally are listening to yourself and that makes me happy for you. You have always been special to me and many others. You just never believed it cuz you didn’t think you deserved it.
Lovin you my dear friend.
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