Rants, Ramblings and General Diary of Juliana Wathen

Posts tagged ‘girlfriends’

Piano Bar Blues……

Yes, Mrs. Lincoln, I have had a cocktail tonight and how did you enjoy the play? “Fine Mrs. Kennedy – how was the parade?

Okay…I had WAY to much fun working tonight. Work turned into unexpected play which is the BEST kinda play to have. I am perched up on the 18th floor of a lake resort and have to go down to check on a promotional event for a bunch of meeting planners….I’m in entertainment you seeeeee……….The DJ is in place…we nosh a bit over the steak and lobster and have a cocktail or two and as the easliy impressed corporate executives file in to the bowling Wii tounament I make my get away to the piano bar with…THE BOYS.

Nearly deserted, the bar is quiet…..”where’s the PIANO player for the PIANO bar” we ask….”taking a break” they tell us… great….we’ll have a cocktail. We settle into the posh couches and pull our feet up on the coffee tables after a long days work as if they were our own. I look at the other people behind us – trying to decern the familiar characteristics of a “Piano player”….searching…searchin…..g searching….BINGO….It’s the blind guy!!!!! The blind guy????

The same blind guy I saw 32 years ago at a high school talent show?….My talent show at MY high school….WTF????  I saw a woman take his arm about to lead him to the piano and I stopped them and asked…Hadden right?? she answered for him ‘Yes” ….I replied…”Are you his mother?” ohhhhhhh bad question…”No , I am his wife but I get that alot”….oh snap…..I JUST killed the conversation….

I asked Hadden if he remembered my name and he didn’t but it was okay – I sang with his brother who was three years older.

We settled into our couches and he began to play..none of it in my key BTW….Mr. Bojangles, Rocky Mountain High and The Entertainer…. I sang under my breath and one of my boys said – sing a song…I said “It’s NOT in my key”….Hadden’s wife chimed in – “he can play in any key just start singing”…And so I did….one song and then another….and another… and another. Lyrics supplied to me by a friend on a I phone…we started taking requests and he played so well he even followed me on a few songs he never heard before….True talent….we scooped up an extra 60 bucks for the tip jar for the folks draw in by the sound and we called it a night.

I was down tonight when I got here…but music lifted me right up out of my skin. We’re gonna do it again tomorrow night..since I’m here all weekend. Why not!

Music is a universal language…once you learn it , It rarely goes away. It cured what ailed me….tomorrow will be icing on the cake.

I love each and every one of you.


Copyright 2011 Juliana Wathen

From here to there and back again…..

Footloose and fancy free…that is me! It seems I just can’t enough of you guys! I can cram more living into one weekend than a nun on a “hall pass”!

Thanks go out to everyone who cheered me on at the Auditions for The Biggest Loser in Austin, Texas this weekend. I was so busy laughing all day I barely snapped a photo. Here it is in a nut shell. Imagine 600 overweight people lined up around a building in 100+ degree heat….We were sitting stuffed ducks on the water. Marketers from Medi-fast and Quick Weight Loss Centers weaved in and out of the crowd passing out promo laden water bottles and taking surveys. The best though was the taco truck that just kept circle the block like a shark on a seal colony. He smelled blood in the water and wasn’t leaving till he had emptied his truck! He had probably watched the morning news and heard the sound bite: Biggest Loser contestants will be lining up at the Lone Star Center.….he started seeing big, fat, juicy dollar signs $$$$$$$  and was out the door before he could even get his boxers on.

8 hours in line led to a 5 minute interview with one casting assistant and 9 other contestants. We were asked as a group and answered down the line…name, age and occupation….then “how much do you want to lose?”….every one answered and we moved on to how many watch the show and have you entered before….finally she asks where is the best place to eat in Austin???? Thank you very much everyone – we’ll be calling you if you made call backs! It reminded me of the hand shake you get at the end of a dull date instead of a kiss….”I’ll call you”……….Sure!

I had shown them the most I could in the shortest amount of time possible. My composite photo attached to my application showed more than anything, in fact it showed everything; community involvement, out-going, daring, social and cute as a button!!!

But alas, we did not leave there with a lot of hope.  Gayle and I opted for Margarita’s at Chuy’s  instead of sitting by the phone and pining the evening away waiting on a call back.  My sweet friend Lisa joined us and I followed her home to Dripping Springs like a little lost puppy. I have dubbed her home, Club Venturini! The Italian egg breakfast was FAB-U-LOUS…..eat your heart out BIGGEST LOSER!

Sunday meant time to hit the road. I needed to make it to “CHURCH” at Lake Conroe for the early evening services with the girls…and it was 4 hours away! My lil zoom-zoom car carried me along the Texas highways just fine…..The radio was blaring hits from the 80’s and I sang away, windows down and my hair whipping around me like crazy. I giggled at myself more than once cause I was having so much fun. I was footloose and fancy free….subject to my own whims and led by my own desires. Life is good and it will only get better.

I AM the BIGGEST WINNER. The weight I have lost this last year has been mental. I’ve worked hard to release the past and let go of the hurt and the anger that came with it. It’s something I still work on everyday. But I just keep telling myself. Everyday is a gift! Live each one like it’s your last and you would be amazed how incredible your life becomes.

I love each and every one of you.



The call of the military! How appropriate on this Memorial Day weekend. Thank God that there were those who fought for us so that we could act like ridicules beach brats and launch water balloons from the deck at the rest of the kids playing on the beach.

The sacrifice has not been lost on the young adults. Big Bob has had them raise and lower the The American flag each day. He reminds them on the proper way to fold the flag and how to handle it. The wind is blowing 15 to 20 knots. We will fly it everyday and if it rips – we will burn it properly before we leave.

It’s important to enjoy your family and friends. It’s important to remember why you have these days to do it.

I believe we are all where we’re suppose to be tonight.And hanging with the ones that we should be with. Life is an experience. Good, bad or indifferent. If you think you should be somewhere else or with someone else. Just ask the Universe what it is you should learn today.

You might be surprised how right on target the answer is. Happy Memorial Day!

I love each and everyone of you


Red Rover, Red Rover…..

Red Rover, Red Rover my friends coming over…for a three day WEEKEND!!!

Yes, I can be excited…excited I cleaned tonight for one! Look at Punkin sitting and watching TV at the end of the couch…on the floor. He’s not quite sure where to sit with everything so fresh and organized.

Matter of fact, I’m not quite sure where I can sit either. I don’t want to mess anything up.

Not that my friends would care one way or the other. That is the beauty of true friends. They don’t really care if there are crumbs in the corner as long as a big fat rat isn’t dining on them!

Friends are the people who feed your soul. They are there when you need them with an encouraging word and some times an ass chewing. Cause let’s face it, we all need both every now and then. Friendships aren’t always easy. They have ups and downs just like all relationships. But we tend to work harder on friendships. They are the rock when everything else turns sour.

They pick up the pieces when we are broken. Hopes are dashed and dreams are shattered and there they are with a broom and dust pan sweeping up the pieces and slowly they pour them back into our hand and say with a casual tone. “Drop Something?”…..”Want me to get the glue or you gonna throw that away?”

They are our partners in crime. Road Trip Co-Pilots. Wing-man. Fashion Consultant. House Fairy. Cheerleader. Confessor and Confidant. I’m excited I have been blessed with so many people I can call “friend”.

I love each and every one of you



I hate to admit it but I might just be an advocate of reinstating the 1922 Bathing Beach Police. Maybe not with the same rules but there definitely are some offenders out there that need a citation or two and some should be put in the back of a paddy wagon and just hauled straight off to jail.

It’s no BIG secret that I am a BIG gal. And though I love summer, the pool and hanging out at Surfside’s Pirate’s Alley with my girls, the thought of putting on an actual swim suit makes me more nervous that a virgin on prom night.

I have a “social conscience” which is extremely lacking in some folks. I THINK before I EXPOSE. I have never fully recovered from seeing a grandpa in a Speedo back in the 80’s at Splash Day in South Padre. Had it not been for my youthful state and the copious amount of liquor I consumed I think I might have stroked out right there.

So, it is with much forethought and trepidation that I select this years Fashionista Fatwear. I am selecting a two-piece. Okay – pick you ef’ing jaw up off the floor. Not THAT kinda two piece. I’m going for the drawstring swim shorts….in black of course and mixing and matching that with brightly colored  swim tops. I’m okay with that! All my bits and pieces will be sufficiently covered. My delicate white fluffiness will be served up to the sun for an extra dose of newly formed freckles and fun. I already have my floatie toy for the pool. My 55 Factor sunscreen, a great To-Go cup and a beach towel. Happiness!!!

So you see. It doesn’t have to be THAT painful…for you…or the masses who may see you coming down the beach.

Just remember; THINK before you EXPOSE! God, I wish I had gotten a hold of this woman before spring. It’s just WRONG I tell ya. Women can be attractive at any size – but NOT when you make really, really, reallllly bad choices. I’m hoping the sales person who sold her that piece of patchwork got a sales commission to match the size of the suit. NEXT TO NOTHING! ANYWAY!!!

I love each and every one of you.

If you have been emotionally scarred by this post then I suggest you leave work early and go have a cocktail poolside to recover.


The buffet of LIFE…..

I have always hated the phrase “Fake it till you make it”. I’m usually a “feel it or forget it” kinda gal. But today, I woke up feeling puny and within the hour had busted a fever.

An ice cold diet coke and my comfy couch was calling my name. Just when I had accepted my fate of a day of misery and bad Hallmark Channel movies the girls called. They were in town and wanted to  “Do Brunch”.

My first impulse was to whine and decline. Which I did ….a little. They gave me an hour to get myself together – no pressure but calling back in an hour.

It occurred to me as I sat there slouched in my pj’s that someday you have to start living what you learn. All those mantra’s of “The most important time is NOW”,  ” Life is what you make it” and “Choose to be happy” were all buzzing about my head like a nat on a ripe piece of fruit. “Damn it”…yes, I tend to mutter to myself some days. I’ll try the “Fake it till ya make it” routine today.

I put on my new canary yellow capris and a white cotton peasant blouse…I put makeup on the most important features and soon enough realized…. I felt okay.

The girls picked me up and we headed to the world famous brunch at the fabulous Baba Yaga’s. We sat outside near the pond neath our own special palapas.

Now every big girl knows a buffet can be just like a clearance sale at Macy’s, a virtual mine field of “I WANT, I NEED, I HAVE TO HAVE”. So I took my time and made good choices. It’s all about taking it one day at a time. And some days, It’s all about taking it one MEAL at a time.

I filled my plate with fresh-cut fruit, strawberries, pineapple and watermelon. I passed up the pasta salads and the heavier lunch fair. I selected an Eggs Benedict and a broccoli kiche….I didn’t make it unscathed past the bacon but did for go the homemade waffles. . But overall -not a bad plate. It was delicious. Dessert was served in 1″ x 1″ sq’s. I helped myself to three cause I just couldn’t decide which bite would be best. Amazingly I had 1/3rd of each. Meaning I really had only a 1″ x 1″ desert. ..S.O.A.B.!

Great girls, great conversation, wonderful weather and a fabulous lunch. I’m so glad I didn’t miss it. Home I went, and a nap was in order. Up in time for an evening rehearsal and my day ended up rather well-rounded with friends, sunshine and song. So much better than a day in the dark on the couch.Life is what you make it. So put on your big girl panties and deal with it. You’ll be glad you did!

I love each and every one of you and today, I loved Kari Adele just a little bit more!


Just us chickens…..

Friday nights are always best when you can spend them with “THE GIRLS”. Girlfriends that have weathered the tides of time and share all the same aches and pains that you have endured one way or another.

We are all past the point of needing to impress each other. There is no bragging of career successes, or husbands or children. We have all had our ups and down and have been made the better for it. No… We are there for hens night. Just a bunch of chicks eating Chinese delivery, enjoying the music, each other and pecking and clucking about the things that make us tick and giggle.

It is liberating to be with these girls. Relaxing, entertaining and just pure fun to see us each old enough to not care that a pair of yellow capris might make our ass look like a big yellow bus coming down the side-walk. WHO CARES!!! Wear them anyway.

We are a mixed lot of short and tall. Thin and fat but all of us making the steady climb up the ladder to 50. There is not a natural head of hair among us. One time brunettes are red-headed vixens while the brightest red-head is trying on blonde. We all agree high lights and low lights are the best thing for summer. Resale shops render the most fabulous buys.  Under wire bras and uncomfortable clothes are a thing of the past. Family pets are by far our favorite children. Nothing beats a South Padre vacation and sex just gets sweeter with time.

We have come to know who we are and where we have come from. We know that the best moment is now. We love, we laugh, we share….and then we realize it’s way past our bed times and all scurry off home. Renewed, recharged and refreshed from a hens night. They are the best!

I love each and every one of you


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