Rants, Ramblings and General Diary of Juliana Wathen

Archive for the ‘weight lose’ Category

Who you calling short?…..

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So when you drop a ton of weight, one of the drawbacks is on your pocket-book. You gotta buy new clothes some time!
On Tuesday evening I made my pilgrimage to my local favorite fat store.
I scoured through the racks of brightly colored summer offerings searching for what had quickly become an elusive and rare pair of black dress slacks. After sifting through jeans, shorts and capris galore I finally I found the golden bar holding the ONLY slacks in the store.I’m a gambler by nature and I hate to try on clothes and mostly, never do, but after 82lbs down the drain it is a necessity for a decent fit.I had one shot and had to get it right.
I grabbed a few sizes and headed for the dressing room. The first pair was too large, the second I couldn’t pull over my pancake ass but the third was juuuuuuust right. I wouldn’t even have to hem them!!!!
I wasn’t crazy about the price but it was, after all, a necessity.
I wrangled a chatty sales associate with a lively “I’m ready to check out , please!” and braced my self to scan my debit card.
He rang up the slacks and suddenly the price changed on the read out and $20.00 dollars was posted as a discount! “They’re on SALE?” I exclaimed in a girly high-pitched voice reminiscent of a tacky tween.
YES MA’AM! ALL OUR CAPRIS ARE ON SALE!!!
😦 My first reaction? I was pissed! I was worried about hemming capris??? Damn it!
Then I decided the Universe was cutting me a break and I should smile, say thank you and exit the store immediately with my $20.00 discount. I don’t care what you say! I’m not THAT damn short!

Just saying!

I love each and every one of you
Juliana
Copyright 2013 Juliana Wathen

I Got You Babe!…..

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Without you …..I would not experience Faith

Without you …..I wouldn’t be challenged to Trust

Without you…..I would not strive to make the World a Better Place

Without you…..I would not push myself to get to the Other Side

Without you…..I would not experience Unconditional Love

I would not be who I am today without all the experiences, conditions and people that have touched my day to day life.
It truly is YOU AND ME BABE!

I love each and every one of you
Juliana

Copy Right 2013 Juliana Wathen

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The Perfect Fit…..

3763866728_0df3449a5dIt was bound to happen…and I can blame it all on that thing called “CHANGE”.

They can warn you all day long about the mental and physical changes that come about after Gastric By-Pass surgery. But I think they are a bit too clinical and don’t really prepare you for reality and the things that really matter. And every day it seems to be something new.

What really matters today you ask….. Underwear. Damn baggy ass underwear. I woke up one morning and it was just ….too damn big. You can pull it up to your arm pits and it still not hugging your butt. So you roll it and tuck it and still…..baggy panties.

Nothing more uncomfortable than baggy ass underwear. So here I sit…commando…..credit card in hand…ordering my most favorite underwear on-line….in a brand new size!

Yeah me! Just saying!

I love each and everyone of you

Juliana

Copyright 2013 Juliana Wathen

Getting Hit by a Beer Truck….

surgeon5bl8So my mom asked me, “Are you getting excited honey?” About what mom?..”Well, your surgery.” ( I’m having gastric by-pass tomorrow) Mom, really? That’s like asking me if I’m excited I’m about to be hit by a beer truck at full speed!….

No, I am not EXCITED about surgery. I am scared and anxious and could puke my shoes at the drop of a hat.

I tried to think last night when was the last time I felt so unsettled and uncertain. It was January this year. Opening night of Diary of a Mad* Fat*Woman. I was so scared I was sure I would throw up back stage before I went on.

When I REALLY thought about it I was a lot more scared that night than I am now. I was afraid of failing and sucking in general. I was putting my life out there in every detail for everyone to judge. And you know what? I did it. I made it through and it was life changing.

So I will expect no less tomorrow as I put my life out there one more time.

I’ll see you on the other side…..and it will be life changing.

I love each and every one of you.

Juliana

Copy right Juliana Wathen 2012

Mornings SUCK!……

MORNING PERSON?…….NOT!!!!…Anyone who has ever met me will testify in open court that I am NOT , nor have I ever been, a “morning person”. You know the type. They spring out of bed with an annoyingly perky smile on their face and a obnoxiuos song in their heart. It would never occur to them to actually use a “SNOOZE” button on an alarm clock. NO, these are the people who can immediately jump up and start a load of laundry on their way out the door to the gym and make it back home in time to make the bed, have a shower and balance their check book all before the morning rush hour gets started. I HATE THEM. Just saying…..

I did, however, make an effort to join them this morning. I bought an $11.00 dollar alarm clock/radio at Target this weekend. Lord knows I haven’t had one of those in over 35 yrs. I’m  one of THOSE people who just get up when I’m supposed to but with my “Supposed” to time changing to make time to haul my fat ass downstairs to the gym in the morning I thought I better make the investment. I set my clock for 7:00AM….It went off and I hit the snooze button….typical…that’s what your supposed to do, right?…7:15AM…it goes off again.This time I let the radio play a classic rock song for a bit to wake me up and get me acclimated to the upright world. “Ughhhhhh this sucks”…..I’m thinking as I clutch my micro fiber body pillow closer to me. One song down and some ass hole commentator starts jibber jabbering about politics. He and his on-air sidekicks are trying to be funny and with a touch of Rock-Jock Shock humor….I found their slightly sanitized/riding on the edge of PC racial jokes utterly annoying. Instead of hitting the snooze button again, I just rolled my finger across the dial till I heard the soft melodic tones of elevator music. Aghhhhh better……Snuggle…..snuggle…….snoooooooooze……….

I awoke at 8:15AM….my usual time. I panicked and jumped to my feet, which is never pretty. I grabbed my bra, shorts and t-shirt, a cute pair of pink socks from the drawer and proceeded to get dressed. I ran to the couch to put on my new “tennis shoes for exercising”  and turned on the TV only to notice the time on the cable box 8:22AM….I did the math in my head….8:22 +3 minutes to find my earphones and head down stairs….35 minutes on the tread mill, 3 minutes back up stairs….15 minutes to shower and change for work topped with a 5 minute drive down the street to the office…..hmmmmmm. I am now officially 23 minutes late for work.

Obviously, this morning’s dry run didn’t work out. I skipped the gym, took the shower and opted for Special K with Strawberries for breakfast. I packed my Scooby Do lunch box, choked down a hand full of  prescription medications and headed out the door. I made it to work with a few minutes to spare.

Tomorrows plan…6:45AM wake up time…..better radio station and make it out the door to the gym by 7:15AM….It’s a goal….and a process.

BTW…..I lost 6 lbs last week…Yeah me!!!!

I love each and every one of you

Juliana

Copyright 2011 Juliana Wathen

Let’s Ride…..

The best thing about waking up every morning…other than the obvious…is that you get to start your life all over again. Wipe the slate clean. It’s a whole new day. Yesterdays failures and successes are behind you so no need to bitch or brag. TODAY has all the potential in the world.

So this morning I got back on track. I weighed in….307 lbs. Yep. I know. Say no more!

I logged onto Weight Watchers Point Plus and started the meticulous detailing of my daily intake. I packed my Bobby Sherman lunch box and armed myself with snacks. I even had my dinner tonight of stir fried beef and veggies. All good food, but here I sit at 9:36pm and I still have 12 points left to consume and I can’t eat another damn thing.

That’s what most people don’t understand. Overweight people don’t allows OVER EAT all day. Many, like myself, eat inconsistently and make poor choices when we do eat. I am the most guilty of skipping breakfast and often not putting anything in my mouth till 1pm or 2pm…So my metabolism is shot to hell. My blood sugar spikes and then crashes and I am left feeling tired. Having heart failure only makes this worse. Experiencing severe chest pains again this weekend just makes it damn scary.

I’m not beating myself up….because today was a new day. And tomorrow…..well, that’s another new day. I know that tomorrow, I need to shoot for a bigger breakfast and knock out some points and continue to eat consistently thru the day to maintain my blood sugar and my energy. I already know this works. But it is not the INTELLECTUAL ARGUMENT that I lose when I sit myself down for a little chat with myself. It always comes back to convincing myself in my heart of hearts that I am worth the effort. It just seems logical that I am. But it also seems logical to me that if you calculate rate of speed, angle of ramp and resistance of the wind that you should be able to jump the Grand Canyon on a motorcycle just like Evel Knievel. Not everyone has the courage to do that.

So I think I just answered my own question…It’s not about BEING worthy….It’s about having the COURAGE to act on it.

Hmmmm…who knew??

I love each and every one of you

Juliana

Copyright 2011 Juliana Wathen

 

 

 

 

 

Skinny-Dipping…..

And now ladies and gentlemen, the MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION. Can FAT people SKINNY dip ? HELL YES!

There is a HUGE misconception that overweight people CAN’T do a lot of things that everyone else can. Now granted, I personally can’t run a marathon but Kelly Gneiting, an ex-sumo wrestler who weighs 400 lbs ran one this year in California.

The OTHER huge misconception is that overweight people are unintelligent. That if they can’t manage something as simple as their diet then they are asking to be the “go to” punch line. Society has more compassion for alcoholics, smokers, anorexics and drug addicts than they do anyone overweight. And when the opportunity presents itself – a mob mentality can take hold.

Recently, I saw a photo of a political protest and the man was carrying a sign which had two misspelled words on it. It was posted on a website for the opposition. First the critiques were on his spelling. Then the nasty came out. Comments were made by viewers almost immediately. “No wonder he can’t spell – look how fat he is”. REALLY???? I thought to myself…and then I kept reading, the feeding frenzy continued… “Look at the muffin top on the one in front of him” they remarked about one woman..”Figures, they’re all overweight and stupid – no wonder they can’t read the constitution” chimed another. The flash “FAT” mob was in full force. A protest on Unconstitutional Legislation was reduced in 58 posts to tasteless and rude commentaries on a persons physical appearance.

I was blown away. And PISSED. WHY was this happening? The jabs and jokes continued throughout the thread. I was absolutely dumb founded that no one made an attempt to keep the discussion on point.

To say I hate what politics has become in America is an understatement. Civilized debates about issues that directly affect our country have taken LAST place to insults and personal jabs at differences that define us as HUMAN. The media, PR firms and campaign coordinators make a point to set their sights on everything from religious differences to hair styles, regional drawl to summer jobs when they were 16 but mostly – how they look. ARE THEY PRESIDENTIAL? DO THEY HAVE THE LOOK?

64% of adults in America are classified as overweight and 34% are considered OBESE. The only thing that can keep an overweight person from learning is trying to learn in a hostel and vicious environment, and even then we persist. Just ask OPRAH. Grow up people! If you want to argue POLITICS be informed about the issues. If the basis of your argument is “you win because you’re thin”…then don’t count on getting a lot of votes come election time cause I have serious concerns about YOUR IQ.

I’m gonna go skinny dipping now!

I love each and every one of you

Juliana

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