Rants, Ramblings and General Diary of Juliana Wathen

Archive for the ‘life lessons’ Category

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Diving in Naked

It was early morning on Padre Island and I had already decided to get on the road and make the 6 hour drive home to Houston after ringing in the New Year with one of my oldest and dearest friends on South Padre Island. The weather had not been our best friend this trip, high winds, cold temperatures and rainy skies had kept us from venturing out too much. The low hanging clouds had engulfed the island in a blanket of gray with only brief moments of sun light streaking through every now and again. In retrospect, it was a blanket I needed. It comforted me in familiarity with my kindred soul, a sister from another mister as they say. A sister of choice who I shared my mother with. We went to church on Sunday at Chapel by the Sea. Kim sang out all the hymns I didn’t know as I remained quietly standing beside her. I translated the preachers words almost instantaneously in my mind as my perceptions and understandings of the scriptures he read and stories he told didn’t quite mirror my own beliefs but at the core still resonated.

Afterwards we brunched with ladies of the isle 30 and even 40 years our seniors and I was amazed at their combined history and journeys as they sipped mimosas and devoured sugar dusted donut balls. Over the next few days we shopped, napped, read books, solved the worlds woes and fed each others spirit with gentle nudges of truth and observations. I was in a safe harbor to laugh, cry, explore or to do nothing more than be if that was what I needed.

Several years back we had spread my mother’s ashes on the north end of the National Seashore. We hadn’t gone out there this trip and it seemed odd to not go and pay some sort of homage but it just never happened with the rain and cold. I was just resigned to it I think.

And then my friend asked me as we sat perched high over the gulf of Mexico from our “Ivory Tower” , watching the gray waves wash in and spotting a few bundled up beach combers searching the sand for treasures, “Are you sure you don’t want to go see Wanda?”. It was like one of those brief breaks in the clouds where the sun comes shining thru, if only for a moment, like a spotlight on center stage. I knew where I needed to be and what I needed to do. Not for Wanda, but for me. I had spoken about it briefly a few days before. The need for a cleansing, a chance to wash off the previous year and start anew. A clean slate for the new year ahead.

I grabbed a few beach towels and still in my Vera Wang PJ’s we headed to the north shore. The wind was howling and you could feel the gusts push the jeep from side to side every now and again as we traveled down the main highway. We reached the beach entrance, sand dunes piled high on either side. The sand was wet and deep but no real challenge for a jeep. I rolled down my window and breathed in heavy doses of chilled salt air. We passed a few fishermen who where stubborn enough to brave the cold and rough surf in the hope of catching a few silvery pompano. Two heron stood watch as if they had a vested interest in the fisherman’s success and it made me smile.

We drove further up the beach until we saw the spot we loving call “Wanda’s Beach”. The tide was coming in and there we were. There was a frothy foam on the top of the water from the constant battering of waves. I laughed to myself and said a silent thank you to Wanda for the soap! A prayer of protection and a silent meditation and then I stepped from the jeep and began to disrobe. The sand was cold on my feet, the wind bit at every bump and bulge and yet I continued to undress. Here I was, rapidly approaching my 56th birthday, 225 lbs of insecurity and a slight fear of water, marching into the waves. I didn’t run or plunge but with a steadfast purpose walked into the ocean. Letting it take me one step at a time, one wave at a time to a new year. Not a new me but a truer me. Not as scared, not as insecure, not as mournful for the loss of my mother who was my best friend in the world. The waves were rolling in. One minute waste deep the next up to my neck and floating, my feet swept up off the sandy floor but still capable of moving forward.

That’s the choice….to move forward. A wave lapped over my head and I knew, forward can be many things. I embraced the waves and now it was time to embrace the chilling air. I turned and made my way back to shore just as slowly and deliberately as I had walked in. And there, on the shore, was my soul sister to welcome me, wrap me in her blanket and arms and share the moment. My heart was beating through my chest and I gasped for air as I clung to her. I never felt warmer or more alive.

This was why I was here. To acknowledge that feeling of vulnerability and insecurity you are left with when orphaned on earth with the lose of a parent. To finally take all the things they had taught you and instilled in you and use them on a daily basis without their prodding.

I am stronger than I give myself credit for. I am brave. I am kind. I am that I am. And so my sweet, are you.

I love each and every one of you.

Juliana

Copyright Juliana Wathen 2019

LOST & FOUND

 

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 I want to talk to you today about the power of words and I am taking aim at one of the most common phrases of all time. “I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT.”

Now, you may think this is a GOOD phrase. Seems harmless, right? But let me point out a few things about these words.

Years ago, my sweet momma, Wanda Glyn, called me while I was at college. She had had  one of those light bulb moments that strikes like lightning! She was a pray-er from way back! Now, the Good Lord says to “ask and it shall be given”, well she had been praying ever since I was child. “Lord, we need more money”….we were always JUST scraping by and she was always afraid we wouldn’t have enough. But we always had what we needed …but there was nothing extra. It dawned on her that instead of sending praise  and being thankful that we always had what would sustain us, she had been praying for “NEED” all these years. And the Good Lord gave it to her in spades.

So I caught myself the other day on one of my “girlfriend” pages on Facebook saying and hearing in return over and over “I NEED to LOSE weight. Now, If I applied Wanda Glyn’s new found wisdom there are two words here that need some work. So we already covered the “NEED” part…when you tell the good Lord “I NEED” he’s gonna give you NEED in buckets, but what about “LOSE”. That word started ringing a bit negative to me. Because when you lose things it’s usually bad. Is it good when we LOSE our car keys, lose our jobs, lose a loved one or just plan lose our shit! NO!!! People even say “I am sorry for your loss”. Nobody has ever said that to me when I’ve lost weight but I have had a few “Bless your hearts” waved at me. So what is this need to LOSE WEIGHT?

LOSE, you see carries with it the feeling of anxiety and downright sadness…don’t you get anxious when you lose something, don’t you beat yourself up sometimes for losing shit? I DO! All I want to do is find it or con-soul myself by replacing it if at all possible! What if sub-consciously we were feeling the same same way about weight. People always joke that when you loss weight to be careful or you’ll find it again and there is always some ass-hat that will chime in “I FOUND IT, let me know when you want it back!”

So, how can I fix this anxiety ridden Mantra of ” I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT” to something positive that I can use on a daily basis that makes me feel GOOD and THANKFUL in every word. I came up with this, something to add to my morning prayer and meditation:

I release back to the ONE source all cells of my body that are not necessary to the healthy functioning of this body. My temple is clean, pure and balanced in all things. I thank you for your service and for the en-lighten-ment you have brought me.

You see, when you RELEASE things, you LET THEM GO without the expectation, want or desire to see them again. Changing the power of my speech and prayer from one of anxiety and loss to one of release and joy has given me a whole new attitude toward my life choices. I feel like lightning has struck again and I can hear sweet Wanda Glyn cheering from the heavens above, I AM THAT I AM and it is good.

I love each and every one of you,

Juliana Wathen

Copyright 2018

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Life is like a drawer of fried chicken…..

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Forest Gump almost had it right – POLITICIANS are like a box of chocolates…you never know what your gonna get.

So instead of standing on my soap box today and preaching I just want to make an impassioned plea to your stomach to consider what the world  looks like thru my eyes.

LIFE….AN IDEAL LIFE…. of peace, harmony and good will is just like a pull out drawer of self serve cold chicken.

Now while you pick your drooling jaw up off the linoleum floor…hear me out. The world has lost what the true meaning of UNITY is. Unity isn’t about dividing the red from the blue or imposing leash laws on other peoples dogmas.  Unity is about joining in spite of your differences. Which leads me to today’s topic at hand. Brothers and Sisters, I give you THE perfect refrigerator drawer!

You might think I have lost my ever dieting mind – But there is TRUE UNITY in that drawer full of chicken. White and dark sit side by side without any muss or fuss. This drawer is where right wing and left wing can co-exist in peace without sound bites, finger pointing or negative ads. It’s a judgement free zone where you are free to have a preference and the freedom to pick a breast, leg or thigh, hell even a gizzard if you see fit. There is room for spicy and mild, baked, blackened, broiled or fried. When the day is done and all the votes are counted….it’s all just chicken. Protein just waiting to be paired with some of the best lip smacking sides and delectable desserts to ever cross a paper plate. That is the classic RE-UNION plate of the south. RE-Union…..to bring back together again and again. So yes, life should be like a drawer of chicken….eat what you like and share the rest.

That is my recipe to success for this world of ours.

I thank Gerald for the original picture…the drawer was nearly empty when I took mine. And to Paulie for a great reunion of friends in celebration of your birthday.

I love each and every one of you

Juliana Wathen

Copyright 2016

 

 

 

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Seriously…Step aside….

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Have you ever heard the phrase” Get out of your own way” ? For all the up and downs life throws us it seems that the answer can be as easy as ….STEP ASIDE.

It seems we have been programmed to believe that for something to work it must be hard-won. That we must struggle to learn and move ahead. Nothing could be further from the truth.

“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you”

So if that is the Universal Law then why don’t we use it?

A friend recently confided that she is struggling to lose weight after a divorce. She was up every morning to swim laps and scoured the stores for mounds of fresh fruits, veggies and fish. Two weeks of dedication, solid exercise and eating right had only resulted in a measly 3lb loss. Flossing celery strands from between her teeth hardly seemed worth it. But she also shared that she was afraid of attracting anyone new into her life. And it dawned on me. She may have consciously been exercising and  eating healthy but she had not yet given her body PERMISSION to let go of all the cells that were no longer necessary to the health and well-being of her body. She was sub-consciously hanging on to her “warm, snuggly robe of excess weight” and burning calories be damned, her heels were dug in and  she wasn’t letting go. A house divided cannot stand! She was working against herself. Her body, mind and spirit weren’t only not on the same page…they weren’t even in the same library. Unity starts within and only when the three are aligned with a common goal can you be successful.

A crown of righteousness…..RIGHT-USE-NESS has been given to us. All the keys to the Kingdom are ours if we would just stand for our birthright, declare our worthiness and use the simple laws that have been given us.

If you want to be successful….GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION to succeed.

I give myself permission to learn.

I give myself permission to love.

I give myself permission to forgive.

I give myself permission to release grief and anger.

I give my body permission to release all unnecessary cells that no longer serve my body and health for the better.

Seriously….Step aside…. and let all that life has to offer come to you.

I love each and every one of you….

Juliana Wathen

Copyright 2016

A Window on the World…

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The Eternal Law of Life is: ‘What you think and feel you bring into form; where your thought IS there you are, for you are your consciousness; and what you meditate or pray upon, you become.’

And so I sit this Sunday morning reflecting on the state of the world, humanity, our nation, my home and ultimately…myself. The world is demanding change…but who is willing to actually step up and CHANGE THEMSELVES. We all want the changes to happen OVER there, UP there, DOWN there. It’s almost always something we see outside ourselves and rarely what or who we see when we look in the mirror each morning.

Change can only come when we understand that CHANGE is the responsibility of every individual and that to foster that change we must know how to apply the Eternal Law of Life.

When you allow your mind to dwell upon thoughts of hate, condemnation, envy, jealousy, criticism, fear, doubt, or suspicion, and allow these feelings of irritation to generate within you, you will certainly have discord, failure, and disaster in your mind, body and world. As long as you persist in allow-ing your attention to be held by such thoughts whether they be about nations, persons, places, conditions, or things you are absorbing those activities : the substance of your mind, your body, and  airs. In fact you are compelling — forcing — them into experience.

Think of the great change that could take place in the WORLD if only everyone would accept their own God given responsibility to LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF. You can’t wait for your neighbor to change first. It must start in you.

Turn your attention and maintain a focus upon Truth, Love, Peace and Freedom , persistently held in your conscious thought and feeling, will bring them into your use and the world, as surely as it was said ”

“Ask and it shall be given unto you, Seek and ye shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened onto you. Alleu, Alleuia. Seek ye first the kingdom of God. And His righteousness. And all these things, shall be added unto you.”

Seek first the kingdom of God…that inner source within you, and His righteousness….his right thought….shall be added unto you.

BE the change.  BE what you want to see in the world, your nation, your town, your family and home. See it in your own reflection each day when you look in the mirror. The responsibility is yours alone.

I love each and every one of you

Juliana Wathen

Copyright 2016

Happy WEIGHT LOSS Awareness Day!!!…

pancake29f-1-webBitter? Table for one! Bitter???

Go ahead – make it a table for two cause I am damn sure I’m not alone.

Damn you iHop!!! Get thee behind me!!!

I have no fear – for thou art with me….”Thou” being a stiff cup of coffee and an EAS Vanilla Protein shake for breakfast!

All you can eat free pancakes…..Ha! I laugh in the face of your monstrous stack!

I love each and every one of you…even if you show up drenched in creamy butter and gads of sweet syrup!

Juliana Wathen

Copyright @2015

Living life 8 seconds at a time…..

thVOHSAJ9TThis week RODEO HOUSTON gets underway and you will find me every fourth night volunteering in the Main Corral Club at NRG Center. To get in the mood I have dropped more than my share of semi-expendable cash at Cavender’s Western Wear, had my boots polished and have spent the evening being a slug watching The American Rodeo on RFD-TV. Giddy up and go cowgirl!!!

On this dreary Sunday I have lain up in the middle of my pretty-pretty princess bed surrounded by a large assortment of pillows and a sleeping fur ball and watched four-legged and two-legged athletes alike put it all on the line for a buckle and a paycheck. The toughest of the bunch stake their entire existence on just 8 seconds.  8 seconds.

I started to think just how long 8 seconds must feel like when there is a pissed off 1000lb bull with his nut sack cinched up to Jesus and back, trying like hell to make this is your last day on earth. How many decisions does that cowboy have to make in 8 seconds do you think? His entire life can flash before his eyes, he has time to second guess the bull’s next move and prepare for it and he even has time to think about what the future will hold and how he will spend his money if he makes to buzzer. All in 8 Seconds.

I feel the pressure some days of all the choices I have and need to make in living this life. Some days I feel like I’ve spent more time tossed to the dirt than riding high. So I sat and pondered, what if I only gave myself 8 seconds to make a choice. What if I only allowed myself 8 seconds when I wake up in the morning to get out of bed? I’d be UP AND MOVING. What if I had to make decisions in 8 seconds on food choices and exercise as if my life depended on it.  Ohhhh wait…it DOES!

Bells and whistles go off in my head…..I spend too much time having casual conversations with myself day in and day out, rationalizing bad choices. I talk myself out of getting up, getting out and living life. I wait on others to be motivated and use more excuses than a politician seeking re-election. The time has come to COWGIRL UP Ladies!!! Time to take the bull by the horns and make some better choices. I’ll let you know how it turns out!

I love each and every one of you.

Juliana Wathen

Copyright 2015

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