By 
Think….outside the Tower!..
As I expand my thoughts about myself and the world I live in, the larger my world becomes. It dawned on me yesterday in a quick trip to the local grocery store that the more I am SEEN the more I see others. And that THEY like ME may feel invisible to the outside world. So yesterday I lifted my head and became an observer. I met peoples glances and I smiled. Sounds small…..but it was a step out of my castle and into the Kingdom. I roamed the aisles in search of this and that to add to my basket….the experiment gave way to a “Good morning” in the vegetable department as I perused the raspberries on sale. “Please, after you”, followed by a giggle as I rounded the frozen food section a little too fast and had to slide to a halt to avoid a collision of carts with a tinnie tiny, blue-haired lady. On to the diary dept. and the cheese glorious cheeeeeese…. And then I saw her. I mean I SAW her…..and for a moment she SAW me. She quickly looked to the floor and then darted her eyes over the gads of “GREEK” yogurt selections in front of her….never glancing up too high, her shoulders rounded in and I saw her try to become SMALL right before my eyes.
But it was too late. I HAD SEEN HER! And I wanted her to know what I saw. She was tall and dark skinned, her hair swept up and away from a soften middle-aged face. She was wearing a white cotton shirt dress with buttons down the front and a full circle skirt like June Cleaver used to wear on Leave it to Beaver. She shuffled her feet and as I passed closer to her she lifted her gaze for just a second. I smiled at her and said, “I love that dress, you just look gorgeous today!”….. I recognized the look on her face. It wasn’t shock that I complimented her….It was shock that she was seen. It took a moment then I could see the tension flow down and out from her body head to toe and she stood a little taller, squared her shoulders and smiled. She said “thank you” in a soft voice….But it was if she was thanking me for so much more than a casual compliment. She THANKED me for giving her a gift. The gift of seeing her.
I put the oxygen mask on myself and then I assisted others…..just like the flight assistant said I should!
I love each and every one of you
Juliana
Copyright 2013 Juliana Wathen
Diary of a MAD * FAT * WOMAN..... 
Beautiful. Sounds so much like my girl, who cannot see the beautiful, funny, intelligent young woman that I see, and so tries hard not to be seen at all. It breaks my heart. You give me hope, J.
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How wonderful to read as we see your life change to “living”. Now you can add “Healing” of others. You recognized her, as you, and knew what she needed and you provided it. Bravo my Lovely Friend.
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You are awesome. That is all…
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