When you give a homeless man a dollar on the street, you would never expect him to give you a dollar the next day or next year. You gave it because you had it to spare and he had none.You have no expectations of ever seeing that dollar again and you go on with your life. If you didn’t have that dollar in your pocket – you would not have offered it.This is the common sense of giving.
I keep running into people who complain and actually work themselves into a tizzie explaining that they give and give to friends, co-workers, or loved ones and that those people never reciprocate. Somehow, simply knowing the person they are giving too wraps a layer of immense expectation around the gifts whether the gift is money, time or attention. Often…it is because they gave when they didn’t have it to spare or they had to make adjustments in their own lives to be able to offer the gift.
Examples range from:
I was there for my sister when her marriage failed she can’t spare 10 minutes and a cup of coffee to listen to my troubles.
I did without for years so my children would have what they need. Now they are working and I need help and it doesn’t even dawn on them that I might need help in my later years.
I volunteer for extra shifts all the time for one of my co-workers when they have special occasions they want to take off for and I can’t ever get her to take a shift for me when I need it.
I make compromises in my relationship with my lover and she never seems to be willing to negotiate and meet me halfway.
Stop looking to the SISTER to give you the time back. Stop expecting the support you gave to come back to you from the person you gave it to.
DO NOT GIVE WHAT YOU CANNOT SPARE
DO NOT GIVE WITH CONDITIONS:
THAT IS NOT GIVING….
IT IS HEDGING A BET THEY THAT INDIVIDUAL WILL GIVE IT BACK WHEN YOU NEED IT.
Give freely all your gifts of love, attention and support to the people that are in need in your life. Give without expectation just as you would give to the homeless man on the corner . The gifts will come back to you from a hundred different directions if you just stop looking for it and let it. “Letting” it means, not looking for it because you are most certainly not looking in the right place. It just makes common sense.
I love each and every one of you
Copyright 2011 Juliana Wathen