What to wear?????

No it’s not a white tie, formal affair so keep your opera gloves in the drawer where they belong!But there has been some confusion amongst the Fashionistas of  the group about WHAT TO WEAR to a 30 yr class reunion.

Okay Tigers and Tigerettes, let’s just go over a few small details and I bet you can figure out what you’re gonna wear quicker than a cat can lick its ass.

1.) Location, Location, Location. Sam Boat is a fine establishment…LAKE SIDE. And though they can accommodate 300 plus, count on only 75-100 being in the air condition at any one time. So  – If you find that sweat balls running in and out of unseen and never explored crevices as being a hinderance to your good time – powder your bits and pieces and dress appropriately.

2.) Purpose of Gathering: Now most of us are there to see just how bad everybody else looks so we can feel a little bit better about ourselves. Let’s just call a Pig a Pig shall we.  But if you happen to be a bit self-conscious about the way you look remember the Golden Rule of Fashion. I’ve said it before…. The bigger the hair – the smaller your ass looks….nuff said.

3.)Shopping….I have noticed at past reunions that some single folks like to do some “shopping”. Keep these tips in mind.

If they already saw it in high school – show’em something new for Christ’s sake. Cleavage will only get you so far and if your britches are tight enough to be a terroristic threat, please pick a trunk that fits your junk!

AND  If its got a ring on it – best figure there is a deer rifle in the truck and his/her spouse may not have any problem at all taking in some target practice while in the country. (Lori Acker- Westmreland will have a shovel and a bag of lye in her trunk if someone has a need…see the bartender and have her paged…$50.00 cash deposit on the shovel required)

4.) SHOES & ACCESSORIES: We all have been shopping for jewelry at Harwin honey, don’t try to pass off that shit as real if it ain’t. You’ll just embarrass yourself. And if you think you can manage stilettos on a wooden plank deck….carry your health insurance card so when you get your spike heel caught between the planks and snap your ankle after sucking down 10 tinsy weensy margaritas we can call 911 for ya! Okay…we will HOPE it’s your ankle cause you break a hip at this age it’s all down hill.

5.) MAKE-UP: I love getting my drag on just as much as any girl. But what goes up…..with spackle and powder….must come down. Last call is gonna look more like banquet night at a sci-fi convention if you don’t use moderation and bring a few touch up toys.

Lipstick, blush and something to touch up that eye liner girl, geeze are you from Willis or what?

The real reason we will all be there is just to see each other and have a good time. So please, don’t sweat the small stuff. Just show up and have some fun…I’m pretty sure I heard Hood is buying the first round…..I’ll see you there!!!

I love each and ever one of you

Juliana